How To Make The Cullens' Mad
by Red on the Head00
Summary: The title says it all lol! was how to make renesemse mad. NOW COMPLETE!
1. mad nessie

1) Ask her 'What are you'.

2) Tell her to start acting her age

3) Tell her she's a freak.

4) Pretend not to understand what she's showing you.

5) Tell her Jacob doesn't like her anymore.

6) Tell her that Emmett and Rosalie thinks she's spoiled.

7) Make her touch Kate randomly.

8) Tell her Edward called her an 'it' on Bella and Edward's honeymoon.

9) Tell her she's ugly and is a spoiled brat.

10) Tell her Jacob is dead.

11) Tell her everything is her fault.

12) Tell her that the pack wanted to kill her.


	2. bella!

**How to make the Cullen's mad!**

**Chapter 2-Bella Cullen**

1)Tell her she's plain.

2)Tell her Edward meant what he said in new moon.

3)Take her on a non-stop 2 week shopping trip with Alice.

3)Replace all of her clothes with very revealing clothes.

4)Tell her she's a terrible mother.

5)Tell her Edward left her for Lauren Mallory**.(Hahahaha! that would suck!)**

6)Tell her Edward left her for mike Newton.**(My friend thought of that one)**

**If you have any just tell me!**

**Next- Alice**

**If you have any more I'll add it on!!**

**And put your name on the next chapter!**


	3. Alice!

**How to make the Cullen's mad.**

**Chapter 3-alice Cullen. A thanks to Twird96, Tiarna13,Myowncrystalheart,& Renesesme CullenYoung4ever for reviewing and giving me good Ideas!!**

**Ideas for alice- Twird96!! keep reviewing!! :)**

1)Take away all of her credit cards.

2)Tell her polyesters coming back.

3)Put straight jackets in her closet.

4)Decide your going to burn her clothes.

5)Never make up your mind.

6)Tell her al of her favorite fashion brands are going out of business.

7)Tell her all of the malls blew up.

8)Paint her room in an ugly color.

9)Dress in your worst clothes around her.

10) break all of the mirrors and put a note saying-'To much plastice sugery'

**If you have any just tell me!**

**Next- Rosalie.**

**If you have any more I'll add it on!!**

**And put your name on the next chapters!**


	4. Rosalie

**How to make the Cullen's mad.**

**Chapter 3-Rosalie Lillian Hale/Cullen _A thanks to Twird96, Tiarna13,Myowncrystalheart,& Renesesme CullenYoung4ever for reviewing and giving me good Ideas!! So here's the next chapter!!_**

**_Ideas 4 rose-MyOwnCrystalHeart._**

1)Tell her you know a ton of people that are prettier than her.

2)Tell her a bunch of bad blonde jokes.

3)Ask her is she's naturally blonde and when she says yes you say-'that explains it'

4)Go up to her and say bite me bitch!

5) Insult her clothes

6)tell her Tanya is prettier than her

7Tell her that its not Carlisles fault she cant have children since she was  
dieing in the first place. Blame Royce

8) bring in Jacob and have him tell bad blode jokes

9) Hit on emmett**(Don't try this at home-If you do you can't sue me!!!) :)**

**Review!!!**

**Next- Esme**

**If you have any more I'll add it on!!**

**And put your name on the next chapter!**


	5. Esme :

**How to make the Cullen's mad.**

**Chapter 4- Esme Cullen._A thanks to Twird96, Tiarna13,Myowncrystalheart, TwilightLoverforeves& Renesesme CullenYoung4ever for reviewing and giving me good Ideas!! So here's the next chapter!!_**

1)Tell her she can't cook.

2)Tell her to go jump off a cliff.

3)Tell her that Carlisle grabbed your butt once

4)punch the wall

5)have hott nasty sex on her furniture

6)paint the house an ugly colour when shes not looking

7)slap Carlisle

8)play with the human's heads

9)make fun of Bella and the rest of the cullens

10)swear like a sailor

11)get into a fight in the house

12)track dirt/grime/mud/blood into the house

13)get arrested

14)destroy public property after she said not to

**this was one was hard! She's just to nice!**

**If you have any just tell me! Review!!!**

**Next- Emmett**

**If you have any more I'll add it on!!**

**And put your name on the next chapter!**


	6. Emmett

**How to make the Cullen's mad. thanks to TwilightGrl1235,** **LeFemme avec les yeux lumineux,****itsmeLAURAAA, dylanja101, ****jubs-vj, kellygirl96, twird96, MyOwnCrystalHeart, carlsisawerewire, & i have 2 many names already. :) **

**Disclaimer: Saddly I do NOT own twilight. cause if I did Jacob wouldn't be in it. :P**

  
**Chapter 6- Emmett McCarty Cullen **

1)Out smart him

2)Tell him he needs to work out

3)Tell him he can't have sex for 24 hours

4)Remind him that Bella beat him at a arm wrestling match.

5)Challenge to a sport and win he wins say-'I let you win'

6) Tell him Rose and he can't do it for 3 years

7) Take away all of his video games

8)Tell him that there's a fairy that controls who has sex when then refuse to tell him where it is.

9)Tell him that the Volturi changed a body builder so he's no longer the strongest vamp ever

10)Tell him he got beat by a girl. more than once

11) Destroy the baseball field.

12) Slash his Jeep's tires

13) Tell him there was a huge fight he missed out on when he was having sex with Rose.

14)Hide the TV remote

15) Replace Sports Center HD with Disney Channel

16) Dare him to only eat Deer for a month.

17) Tell him his guns are small

18) Tell him Rosalie has the hots for Edward.

19)Tell him Edward grabbed Rosalies butt.

20) paint his jeep purple

21)convince him that vampires can eat pinapples

22)give him a cup of 'blood' when it is really ketchup

23) lick rosalie

24)try to hurt bella

25) eat the bear before he can get to it

26)beat him in a wrestling match

27)tell him that Edward's manly parts are bigger than his

**If you have any just tell me! Review!!!**

**Next- Jasper**

**If you have any more I'll add it on!!**

And put your name on the next chapter!


	7. Jasper!

**Sorry kinda got sidetracked... :P The more reveiws the faster I'll get it up!!! the story has about 3(?) more chapters left..**

**How to make the Cullen's mad.**

**Chapter7-Jasper Whitlock Hale**

1)Yell 'go union' whenever your around him

2)Ask him If he's been to any birthdays lately

3)Say 'you don't understands how I'm feeling'

4)Tell him Alice left him for Edward

5)Paint 'confederates suck' on his bedroom wall

6) let your emotions go hawire around him.

7) bring your bipolar friend with you

8) confuse him with your emotions like act all gloomy but look REALLY happy.

**If you have any just tell me! Review!!!**

**Next- Edward**

**If you have any more I'll add it on!!**

**And put your name on the next chapter!**


	8. Edward Edweirdo

**A thanks to Twird96, LaceyCamille, jubs-vj for reviewing!! AHHHH! 27 REVEIWS!!! just to let you know that's big for me.. :) I'm going to make some cookies!!**

**How to make the Cullen's mad.**

**Ch.8 – Edward Mason Cullen**

1)tell him that when he left bella she was happy most of the time

2)tell him bella left him for Mike Newton

3)remind him that he killed Bella

4)also remind him that Jacob imprinted on his daughter

5)tell him alice had a vision of bella running away to mexico to marry Mike newton.

6)bye him a puppy and name it jacob

7)tell him bella got killed.

8)Think dirty thoughts about Bella while near him. **(A/N I wouldn't recommend it!)**

9)Tell him he sucks on the piano

10) Tell him that Nessie is pregnant and Jake is the father.

11)Remind him of all the times Jake kissed Bella.

12)Tell him that werewolves are cooler then vampires

13) replace all of his CDs with 70s and 80s music.

**If you have any just tell me! Review!!!**

**Next- Carlisle**

**If you have any I'll add it on!!**

**And put your name on the next chapter!**


	9. Carlisle

**Wel there's not very many for carlisle, sooooo...**

**How to make the Cullen's mad.**

**Chapter9- Carlisle Cullen**

1)tell him vampire aren't real

2)Tell him you know a doctor that's been working longer then him**(tehe)**

3)Tell him that your smarter then him**(Ohhhh..)**

4)say he's a horrible doctor**(Burn!!)**

5)say Esme wants to get divorced because he spends too much time in the hospital.**(Ouch!!)**

**If you have any just tell me! Review!!!**

**Next- Jacob**

**If you have any more I'll add it on!!**

**And put your name on the next chapter!**


	10. Sequal

**Sadly this is the end of How to make the Cullens mad- BUT! **

**I will be making a sequeal called how to make the Volturi mad with the nomadic vampires!**

**Well tell me what you think!**

**Peace!!! *:)**

**~Red**


	11. Thanks to all!

Appreciation for the Reviewers!

This chapter is for all of my awesome readers who reviewed on How to Make the Cullens Mad!

LaceyCamille (For their awesome ideas!)

Jubs-vj (For her great ideas!)

Twird96 (For their great ideas!)

TigerGirl238 (For helping me with one of the hardest chapter to think of!)

TdiBridgette (For her hilarious reviews!)

Lil Ray of GloomShine (awesome penname!)

Dudegirl 123 (For saying- 'Sweet' lol)

Twilight Wolf Angle (*anonymous*)

LivingInThePast1901 (For reading most of my stories!)

Thank You all for though who read and review or just read! Love you all!

XOXOXOX

Peace & Love,

~Red.


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